Purfectly Me

First Thing:
I am bad at dating.  Maybe its the fact that I haven’t really dated all that much, maybe its the fact that I don’t like all those romantic/sappy movies women are always watching.  I don’t know.  All I know for sure is that I am BAD at it.  I don’t know what to do to say I just wanna be friends, I don’t know how to initiate a kiss that doesn’t say “I wanna have lots of sex RIGHT NOW”.  I don’t know how to not feel the pressure to do something and just enjoy myself.

Second Thing:
I am a Mob Wars whore.  If you don’t know what I mean, you can go here and see.  And, if you’re interested, please feel free to add me to your friends/mob -  here’s the link to ME.

Oh God….see what I mean?  I can’t stop begging for mob members!! It’s getting disgusting.  (And no, I don’t need anyone to point out that the reason I’m not good at dating may have something to do with this second thing)

Third Thing:
Everyone needs to leave me alone about my damned profile picture.  I KNOW that I don’t look exactly like that anymore but for God’s sake, the pic is only 4 years old!!  I’m not THAT much different and even if I am don’t tell me, my fantasy world is rich and happy and you are NOT invited with that attitude.

This is the actual transcript (read: copied and pasted from chat box) of my convoluted conversation with McAfee tech support. The first part is the question that you send before chat even starts. The rest is the chat portion of our entertainment for today. Enjoy.

FYI: You have to set up an account so that you can get updates and emails, etc from the company.

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I have 4 computers, I bought two 3-user versions of McAfee Internet Security Suite so that I could cover all four computers – is that going to cause problems with licensing? Do I install like normal on the first 3 computers and on the 4th set up a new account?
Sriram: Hi, my name is Sriram and I will be assisting you today.
Customer: hello…did you already see my question or do I need to repeat myself?
Sriram: you would like to add a licence for teh fourth computer, correct?
Customer: no, I have two discs for 3 users each, just need to know how best to install that fourth computer so I don’t confuse things
Customer: I bought them separately, (separate boxes etc)
Customer: I would like all of them to be with the same user name, account info, but if that will confuse the issue because it’s two separate install discs, no problem
Sriram: you don’t have to install McAfee through Cd and you can download McAfee through Internet.
Customer: okay, but do I have to pay again for the 4th computer if I try to download more than 3?
Sriram: Yes, you have to pay for the fourth since you have licence only for 3 computers.
Customer: okay, but I have, essentially, 6 licenses because I bought two 3-user discs…right?
Sriram: If you have 6 licence user pack, you can install teh fourth computer.
Customer: no. I have 2 discs
Customer: one is for 3 users
Customer: the other is also for 3 users
Customer: bought separately
Sriram: If you have two 3 user licence packs, you can install it on the fourth PC.
Customer: that’s what I thought. My question is, can I use the same account information (log-in, password, etc) for the 4th computer/second disc
Sriram: yes, you can use the same account information for the fuorth computer
Customer: okay, that’s all I needed to know. Thank you

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For God’s sake!! Was I not clear? Is this SO hard to figure out? I have TWO discs! TWO! No, I don’t need another license, I have TWO DISCS!! They both have a big “3 USERS” in big, bold, red printing on the damned disc.

sheesh

It’s the verb part of the definition that confuses my ex-husband.  Not what a parent IS (ie sperm donor with visitation) but what a parent DOES.  You cannot say that you are a parent if you don’t DO anything about it.

So, when you say we are both going to punish our daughter for stealing and the punishment will be picking up dog poo at your house (because grounding her from electronics like I did means she’s going to whine at you and you don’t like that) you have to actually MAKE HER PICK UP DOG POO!

This is where he fails and she wins and I suffer.  I make a punishment (1 month no electronics of any kind) and his brilliant idea is that she has to do chores at his house and clean up dog poo every day she’s there.  But then I found out last night that not only is she not actually having to pick up the poo, the reason she doesn’t have to do it is …wait for it….. SHE DOESN’T LIKE IT!  So instead, she just has to stay outside until he tells her she can come in.  Essentially doing what she would do at his house anyway: getting a tan.

Brilliant I tell you, fucking brilliant.

So because my ex is an idiot, my kid has learned the following:
1.     If I  don’t like something, just be stubborn enough in my refusal and I won’t have to.
2.     Mom’s punishments mean jack because if I’m patient, I can just go watch t.v. at daddy’s, play on the computer and call my friends from there
3.     Daddy’s a sucker
4.     Stealing isn’t that big a deal and,
5.    Mom’s the mean one, dad’s the fun one (that’s my favorite).

When I freaked out on him about it, he had his patent response: “I’m not married to you…you can’t make me punish her at my house (apparently he’s two and “you can’t make me” is a good enough response for him)… I want to have fun with her when I see her … this is my house and you can’t control what happens here….grounding/punishing her sucks.”

No shit Sherlock, you think grounding her at my house is FUN?? You think she doesn’t argue with me every fucking step of the way?

Trying to talk to him more gets the second patent response: “you just think you’re the perfect parent and you’re not – you need to back off”

Of course I’m not the perfect parent – of course I don’t think I am – have you MET ME?? All I want is for him to back me up so I’m not doing this again next week when she steals from me again because she knows she essentially will get away with it.

Bet you can’t guess why we’re not married anymore.