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This is from my new favorite site Overheard in the Office

She’s What Happens When the Witness Relocation People Smoke Too Much Pot

PA: Buffy Capri, please call the operator, Buffy Capri.
Secretary #1: Who the hell is Buffy Capri?
Secretary #2: I don’t know. An exotic dancer or a porn star?
Secretary #1: Buffy Capri, you’re wanted on the lido deck.
Secretary #3: She’s a paralegal. With a dumb name.

Atlanta, Georgia

By the way, while speaking of favorite things, my new favorite dessert is my homemade creamsicle milkshake. It’s freaking AWESOME.

Oh, and another one cuz I just can’t stop and this sounds so much like my boss:

Now That I’ve Talked to You Verbally

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

Ok, so check it out, I now have Twitter (look to your right and you should see the last few updates), I have a new layout (check out the awesomeness that is my Header – yes, I took that picture) AND I may, sometime this weekend actually have a non-leaking, fully functional bathroom.  If and when it ever gets done, I do promise to share photos.  :)

Happy Weekend all!

Okay, I admit, I have worked and tried and I have found the wonder that is Google Reader. However, it is just not as great as I wished it were. Half the fun of reading a blog, especially by someone you don’t know is seeing their blog – seeing their personality come out in the layout, the colors, the design, the extras, and the photos. Not only does Google Reader not have any of that, it isn’t even pretty in its own right.

Sigh

Sorry Carrie, but I think I will only use Google reader only in those horrible moments when I can’t remember the address for your blog.

Oh, one thing the reader did do is it reacquainted me with some blogs I haven’t read in years and other blogs I’d never heard of. Here are some links for you to add to your reader (or whatever):

Carrie’s Blog My best friend and the sweetest, most artistic person I know (who actually DOES something with her talent no less!)

drunkenbee (I know she says she’s on a break, but she’s worth reading some archives so get to it!)

ejshea.com

Miss Doxie

HannahBeth

Oh, and I had to go looking for this, but I just had to share probably the most memorable and funny blog post EVER:

Here’s something funny. Master V and I were playing Trivial Pursuit
the other night. Now, I have to tell you that this is sort of a contentious
thing in our career together, as I am a huge fan of the game and he is…well,
to be honest, he hates to get his ass kicked. Thus, he normally refuses to play
with me. (Fact: I hate to lose more than he does. I’m not above cheating with
my teammates, either. Sue me.)

I am not saying that I am some idiot savant who can beat anybody
at Trivial Pursuit, I am just saying that Master V does not have nearly the
great repository of useless knowledge rolling around his head that I do. If
it were called “Musical Trivia and Obscure Sports Facts Pursuit,”
you can bet five thousand that he’d kill me every time.

Anyway, he decided (and it may have been the drink, maybe not)
that he’d play ONE game with me. I yippied and skippied and happily dragged
the game out from its hiding place underneath one of our sitting room chairs
(easily accessible!), and we commenced playing. I have to tell you, I love this
game. We played and giggled and made fun of each other’s stupid answers, but
there’s one that shall go down in Chao Camp history. It went a little something
like this:

Master V: Okay. You ready? Pay attention, because this
one’s really…easy as fuck. What kind of sighting became more common after
the movie Jaws was released?

AB: [thinking hard, taking helpful sip of drink] Um…oh!
Aluminum?

Master V: What? A-what?

AB: Aluminum.

Master V: You want to rethink that? I don’t know what you’re
talking about.

AB: You know, aluminum! Aluminum siding. I don’t know why
that’s related to a movie about sharks…ohhhhh. Siding! Sighting! Goddamn
it! I want a do-over!

Master V: I don’t think so, Joel. [laughs hysterically]
Gaalrslkgjagbah! Paaaaah! Ha! Nice one, baby.

AB: Shutupihateyou. Shut! It! Hee. Aluminum siding. I should
win on retarded alone.

This is where we laugh ourselves silly for about 10 hours. Cut
to later, in the bed that night. “Baby, I want you to be careful this week
when you’re driving to work. I hear there have been several aluminum sightings
in the D/FW area.” “I will, don’t worry. My friend Jeff from work
accidentally got his leg bitten off in a nasty bungalow incident the other day.”

Aluminum sighting. If you think my journalling insecurities are
unfounded, know that shit like this is one of the reasons.

Please be careful out there. It’s still summer–prime season for
your house to eat you alive.

That’s from Hashai but she doesn’t write anymore – sigh – so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say she is my inspiration and I still aspire to be as funny as she is.

I also, probably WAY behind the times, found Dooce, which I love and think I may try to take more simple “here’s what I did today” photos. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do a “photo a day” but I can at least try for once a week or so. :)

So I have some random thoughts/things to share, don’t be surprised if you don’t understand :)

So Michael Johns got kicked out last night, can you believe that??? I (along with everyone else) was stunned. I loved him!! And why didn’t they save him like they did last year on the IGB week?? You know that’s why he got voted off was because everyone thought they weren’t going to send anyone home. grr

Did anyone else notice the little (about 7 or 8 ) year old girl on the performance show this week holding up a sign that said “LICK THOSE LIPS”? Okay, now I know what that means, David Archuleta licks his lips ALOT while singing – but I would NEVER (even if it wasn’t creepy because I’m literally old enough to be his mother) EVER hold up a sign telling someone to “lick those lips” and I especially wouldn’t let my daughter hold it up!!! eww

and speaking of little David…I think it’s only his fans that need slapping around, he’s a great singer and his version of Imagine” is one of the BEST American Idol performances I have ever seen: David Archuleta’s “Imagine”

and speaking of imagining…when I imagined being a parent, I didn’t really imagine it being this big of a problem. But Dammit, it’s HARD!!

For example: It’s spring break and Ally was home alone. For the last few weeks we’ve been having serious problems with Ally’s behavior, with her stealing my makeup numerous times one of them (she’s not supposed to wear makeup until she’s older). She’s been grounded, spanked, yelled at and to no avail. So, during spring break she was grounded from tv (not just for the makeup, but that was part of it). I was at work and I called and said that I’d be home for lunch and we were both excited to spend time together.

I walk in the front door and there’s my beautiful daughter WEARING MAKEUP!! Like she didn’t know I was coming?? WTF!?!

So I say to my beautiful daughter “You’re wearing my makeup!!” and she responds “No I’m NOT – I wiped it all off!”

See? Parenting is hard….I didn’t kill her so I think I won that round.

Okay, I’m a movie fan, not a fanatic – and I am NOT one of those “OMG! There’s a new comic book movie coming out!” types of people.

But I saw the IronMan trailer today (go here to see it) and I’m actually pretty excited about it. 

What other movies am I excited to see? Well, here’s the short list (click the names to see the trailers):

Smart People

Indiana Jones (duh)

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden (Bush couldn’t find him, but the Super Size Me guy probably can!)

Get Smart I actually loved that show, Nick at Night ROCKS!

Superhero Movie

The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan (or Shamalamanimna – if you’re Ally trying to say his name)

Defiance it has James Bond and Liev Schreiber in it – who can go wrong with that?

Meet the Spartans – they kick Britney Spears down a well.  Just for that it’s worth my $8.00

Cassandra’s Dream – it’s written and directed by Woody Allen, who I totally dislike, but it has Colin Farrell and Ewan Macgregor in it so that makes up for it

Leatherheads -George Clooney and the sweet guy from the Office in a football movie!

The Air I Breathe – this is one of those movies that makes the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon SO much easier!

Nim’s Island

The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian
 

Vantage Point – it’s got Dr. Jack from Lost without the Island – woohoo! oh yeah and some other people too. :)

and, finally Taken with Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen.

I know – “short list” – but, well, this is me we’re talking about! :)

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