A bibliophile’s porn

Ahh, but if only I had time to go to these places and just stay for hours

 

Ooh Ohh Ooh!! Where’s Santa when you need him!?!

Okay, so I know I don’t have a second floor in my house but I would BUILD one just so I could have these!!

 

Virtual Bookshelf

I’m a little obsessed with adding books I’ve read and want to read to the Visual Bookshelf utility on Facebook.  It’s a little like a sickness.  Anyway, one of the features on there is to have it recommend books based on what you’ve already said you’d like to read or have already read.  Well, apparently I’m some sort of weirdo because this is what it keeps telling me:

“Sorry, it seems like we could not provide you any recommendation at this time. Likely because anything we could suggest was already in your collection. Please refresh this page to give us another try.“

Now I’m pretty sure I haven’t read EVERY book out there, so what the hell?  Either my tastes are SO weird that they just can’t seems to figure out what to recommend, or I have read every book in their databases that match my previous reads.

If that’s the case then aren’t I a little bit screwed for reading choices??  Do I have to start reading stuff I don’t like because I’ve run through everything I would like?

The mind boggles.

 

I am SO changing my name!!

This is from my new favorite site Overheard in the Office

She’s What Happens When the Witness Relocation People Smoke Too Much Pot

PA: Buffy Capri, please call the operator, Buffy Capri.
Secretary #1: Who the hell is Buffy Capri?
Secretary #2: I don’t know. An exotic dancer or a porn star?
Secretary #1: Buffy Capri, you’re wanted on the lido deck.
Secretary #3: She’s a paralegal. With a dumb name.

Atlanta, Georgia

By the way, while speaking of favorite things, my new favorite dessert is my homemade creamsicle milkshake. It’s freaking AWESOME.

Oh, and another one cuz I just can’t stop and this sounds so much like my boss:

Now That I’ve Talked to You Verbally

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

 

I will wear purple

I will wear purple

When I am Old
I will wear Purple!

When I am an old woman,
I shall wear purple – -
With a red hat which doesn’t go,
and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves and satin sandles,
And say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
and gobble up samples in shops
and press alarm bells
and run with my stick along public railings,
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick flowers in other people’s gardens
and learn to spit!
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at ago,
or only bread and pickles for a week,
and hoard pens and pencils
and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
and pay our rent
and not swear in the street,
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner
and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised
when suddenly I am old,
And start to wear purple!

–Jenny Joseph