Decisions decisions

You know that point in your life when you have to make a major decision and everything happening is pointing you in a direction, but you have NO FREAKING CLUE which direction that is?

That’s my life right now.

On the 3rd I got a letter from the Housing Authority (who subsidizes my rent) that I would no longer receive assistance from them. Now, I was expecting my rent to go up, it always does. Well actually, the rent doesn’t go up, just the portion I pay. Anyway, they told me my rent help was going away which was a big blow, because it went from $480 to $750. Now mind you, my income hasn’t gone up, my bills haven’t gone down (they’ve actually gone up) but now I have to pull $270 more a month out of my ass. Painful? yes Possible? maybe

So, the first thing I did was talk to my boss about a raise. Actually, the first thing I did was cry and freak out, then I told my boss I needed a raise – about $2 an hour. Problem is that #1 my boss is a cheapskate #2 “we” are buying a new office that’s about 3 times more expensive every month and #3 my boss isn’t working any more than she ever was, so the office isn’t making nearly as much as it could be. So, I tell her I need a raise, she doesn’t say much of anything and then tells me she’s “receptive” to my request. WTF does that mean?? Does that mean yes? No? There’s no freaking way, but I’m going to string you along until you’re royally screwed? What?? Argh I know I deserve it, and I haven’t asked for a raise since I started there- I’ve actually turned raises down because my rent would just go up anyway.

Then she tells me today that she was thinking about putting me on salary (at the higher rate, I’m assuming) and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It’d be nice to know exactly how much my paycheck was going to be every time, but knowing my boss, she’d try to take advantage of that by keeping me even later than she does now. But at the same time, I can stand up to her pretty well, so I can see how it could go either way.

As I see it, God is trying to point me in a direction and the 4 directions I see myself heading are:

* Stay where I am, with the raise
* Stay where I am, find another job if I don’t get the raise & figure out how to afford it in the meantime
* Find another place to rent. Quickly
* Find a house to buy

It’s the last one that appeals to me the most and scares the crap out of me at the same time. I always thought when I bought a house that I’d be married, that I’d have a husband to help around the house fixing shit. But no, I’m 29.999 years old, no man, no house, and instead of my baby clock ticking, I’ve got a homeowner’s clock going. Crap. And to make it worse, everytime I tell my parents or my sister about this stuff, they start going on about how I should be buying a house and why do I put up with the crap from my landlords. What they don’t seem to get is that the only house I could afford is under $80k, and there aren’t a whole lot of houses out there in good neighborhoods in that price range. I know this sounds crazy to those who know where I live, but I’ve actually been thinking about buying the house I’m in. I don’t know if its possible, but its in the right area, the right price range and (although a little small) not a bad size.

I think I’m just a little too comfortable where I am. Maybe I need a guidance counselor. Yeah! Maybe I could visit the highschool and just have some grown up tell me what the heck I’m supposed to do now. Oh wait…school doesn’t start for another month. Dammit

I have other stuff to update on, but I’m a little stressed and very tired, so I’m off to bed. Catch ya later!

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