Bad Advertising

I am looking for a health club/fitness club/someplace to work out that people won’t stare at my fat ass climbing onto an elliptical machine. I’m not saying I am going to actually JOIN, but given the fact that our afternoon walks are (a) enjoyable (b) a great time to catch up with Cami and (c) soon to be in 100 degree heat Cami and I are thinking we should find someplace better (read: Air Conditioned) to spend our work-out time.

On one internet site for the Tri-City Court Club (nice place by the way, I don’t think the bad typing/editing is a reflection of their ability to have a lack of laughing & pointing at said ass on said elliptical) I found this gym gem (I made a funny – heehee):

For those of you who are not as anal about the English language as I am – let me just point out the flaws:

1. The best way to find out if a club is a good fit, it IS to try it out.

2. a Membership Specialists will contact you… (is it one, or will they ALL be calling me?)

3.  your trial memberhsip (so it’s not a real memberSHIP until you’ve actually joined, right now it’s just an imitation membership – like a dollar store knock-off of a membership.  It looks the same at first glance, then you start working out and you find out you’re only burning 10% of the calories of a real membership).

4. Must be 18+ year or older (apparently they only had a certain amount of s’s and the Specialist”s” took the last one. Selfish bitches.)

Cami says they must have let one of the meatheads do the website in their time between reps – but I personally think it was the teenie-bopper at the health drink “bar” (don’t even get me started on how much that is NOT a “Bar”) who got hopped up on protein and energy additives which made their hands shake so badly they couldn’t type and then their blood sugar dropped, they collapsed and couldn’t run the spell/grammar checker. What? It could happen!

I may or may not sign up for the trial membership – but I think I will get a better workout trying to keep my mouth shut about how bad their website is than I will on that elliptical. Seriously, this was not the only issue, their “tour” of the club consisted of pictures of empty workout equipment, a photo of a 50 year old woman in a hot tub, a shot of the parking lot, an old guy sitting on a workout bench in too-short shorts, and some other not very flattering photos. I have been to this place! It’s actually REALLY nice!

Personally I think the competition has hacked their website – it’s the only explanation more plausible than my hopped up teenie-bopper theory.

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One response to “Bad Advertising

  1. haaahaaa…i picked them all out before i scrolled down :) we both have the gift…

    have you checked out “women only” they are my fave…i mean…if i HAVE to exercise in public…thats where i would go!

    annnnnnndddd….something else something else…

    OH YEAH…i dont think they HAVE any competition…thats why they can charge you a gazillion dollars…this fourteen dollar think is patooie cause they know you’ll only come once…haahaaa

    thats all…oh no wait…i blogged too :) its a banner day in blogland!!

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