Fall TV!!

You’ll figure this out pretty quickly when you start reading this, but let me just alert you to the fact that I KNOW I should get a life and this is way too much effort for something that is such a ridiculous waste of time.  But I like it and it makes me happy and me and my 12 cats that I will eventually have instead of a life will be very happy with our hobby.  So leave me alone and just read and sigh and thank God you have a life. If you don’t have a life then YAY! It’s you and me and the TV (and Bobby McGee?) 

I love fall TV season, the new shows, the hope of a new Lost or ER that will take up way too much of your brain power but will be something new and (hopefully) exciting that you can talk about with your friends…or people on Facebook. Whatever.

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the Fall TV season is watching all the new previews and figuring out what you’re going to watch and what you’re hoping will suck so that you didn’t miss the first few shows.  Life is a gamble – I prefer to bet with tv shows, its just how I roll.

So here’s what I know about this year’s fall season (so far):

TV channel websites SUCK ASS.

Oh yeah and there seem to be a few shows that may be really good coming out.  But depending on which channel’s website you visit they either don’t give a damn or want you to watch their freaking commercials to see anything about the new shows.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to invest that kind of effort.

————————————–ABC (http://abc.go.com/site/new-shows) has a TON of new shows coming out this fall.

The previews are TINY and if you full screen them they look like you’ve zoomed in on a craptastic pixellated mess.  Not so much a selling point as an annoyance.  Also, if you happen to have the show in the background so you can, I don’t know, blog about them perhaps – you have to listen to the previews/snippets over and over and over.  Also NOT a selling point when they play the same bits of dialogue over and over and over.  GRRRRR Oh, and to add to the annoyance, you have to scroll through the flip-book thingy to get back to the last show you were on.

As for the shows?

I skipped over Apartment 23 without reading more than the caption for the picture. A new “Odd Couple” with chicks? No thanks.

Same for Charlie’s Angels (but I didn’t even read the caption on that one, who doesn’t know the storyline?)

The Chew sounds disgusting.  Its actually a cross between the View (get it? the Chew, the View, how witty…or not), a daytime Food Network show and Martha Stewart? Nope, not for me.

Good Christian Belles looks, hmm.  Could be really good or really, really bad.  I’m hoping for good but assuming its going to be Desperate Housewives with mint juleps and accents.

I truly hope Last Man Standing is going to be good.  It looks good.  I love Tim Allen.  So here’s crossing our fingers it does well. Considering its the only comedy I’m even considering watching, it had better be good.

Man Up seems funny, but stupid funny, not smart funny.  I’m not a big fan of stupid funny.  But the preview made me laugh so that’s something, right? (still not watching it, but I hope others do)

Missing.  Well, they got the name right considering the preview is also missing.   According to the snippet of info they give, it has Ashley Judd in it (who I love) so maybe they’ll get their shit together, put up a preview and knock my socks off.  Here’s hoping.

Once Upon a Time looks stupid.  I’d love to say it doesn’t but it just does.  I just watched the longer preview (it was like the 5th video on the revolving playlist on the show’s site) and it actually doesn’t look too bad.  I have no freaking clue why they wouldn’t make THAT the 1st preview but whatever.  Even though its “from the writers of Lost” I think Grimm (see below) will do a better job with the whole fairy tales come to the present thing but I may watch this premiere just to see if it makes up for the dumb preview.

Pan Am looks boring, like maybe they were trying for some Mad Men watchers with nothing else to watch but I’m not interested.

Revenge (this is actually funny because I participated in a pilot review Neilson thing months ago, so it’ll be interesting what they do with this).  The show itself looked/looks good and from the pilot I saw, I would recommend it.  I may watch it but only if it doesn’t conflict too much with other stuff I’m more interested in.

The River looks good – Amazon river meets Lost meets Alien.  Hmmm  Plus Spielberg is producing so it has some definite promise!

Scandal also looks good – lots of faces I recognize which always makes me nervous.  If I loved who I remember them being, will that ruin or enhance the new show.  The preview is intriguing and this will definitely go on my list of shows to watch.

Suburgatory looks dumb but I’m not a fan of sitcoms anyway and I have enough teenage angst in real life.  Thanks. But no.

Work It is just a bad knock off of Bosom Buddies.  If you want to watch a good “guys dress up like women to get ahead in life” show watch that one – at least it was original.

———————————–CBS (http://www.cbs.com/primetime/fall_preview_2011/)

Holy crap they have a calendar! With premier dates! Its like they actually want you to WATCH their shows! Could it be? Oh, I have to watch commercials before the previews? Nope, guess you don’t want me to watch your shows.  Thanks for clearing that up.

2 Broke Girls looks funny and dumb (as its supposed to) but I’m not interested.  Sitcoms = still not my thing.

Hawaii 50 Ok, I know its not new. But its AWESOME and Alex O’Laughlin is amazingly hot.  I even think Scott Caan is hot and he’s short!

Unforgettable looks REALLY good. Its going on my list.  The characters look good, its not a cookie-cutter crime show but its not too out there for people who like crime shows.  Cool.

Person of Interest is also going on my list.  Jim Caviezel (I’m sure I botched that name but this is a shit-load of typing, I’m not researching spelling too) is a great actor who I’ve loved since G.I. Jane and then Frequency (loved both of those movies!) so I’m excited to see him in a show.  The fact that it has Ben Linus in it ( again, not researching what his real name is) is a bonus.

A Gifted Man will either be really good or really bad.  I’m hoping for really good because it has a good premise: ex-wife comes back to “haunt” (in a good way) the ex husband who still loves/loved her.  He does good because she did good and needs his help to finish what she started.   See? Gotcha already doesn’t it?

——————————————–NBC (http://www.nbc.com/upcoming-shows/)

NBC apparently wants you to have to think about where they hid the upcoming stuff before they’re actually going to share with you.  No reason to put it on the front page or in the search results, right guys? There’s nothing riding on people liking your new stuff or anything, right?  Well, at least once I found them I got to watch them in full screen with all the pixels the right size.

Free Agents has Hank Azaria (LOVE HIM) and that one chick, from…you know…something you’ve seen.  And I think she was funny in it.  Anyway, I think its going to be cheesy but hopefully not because I really do love Hank and he deserves his own hit.

Grimm seems like an interesting take on the fairy tales come to life premise.  It feels, from the preview, more like a crime drama with sci-fi twists that just happen to resemble fairy tales.  That seems like a more conservative approach to the idea (rather than Once Upon A Time where they went full-out fantasy) but could result in a longer lasting show.

I was all set to hate The Playboy Club but really it seems to have taken the cool feel of Mad Men, added some overt sex appeal and run with it.  I may even have to watch this against my better judgment.  Especially since Bobby (Eddie Cibrian) from Third Watch is in it.  Oh Third Watch, I miss that show.  Maybe I should find that on Hulu instead of watching this new show.

Maria Bello is on tv.  That’s really all you need to know to watch Prime Suspect right?  Its Maria Bello as a cop who, apparently, is ostracized from her squad for either sleeping with her boss or refusing to sleep with her boss.  I couldn’t tell from the preview but who the hell cares? Its Maria Bello and she rocks!

I didn’t even watch the preview for Up All Night.  Sorry Christina (Applegate) but I just don’t care who had a baby and who’s going to whine about it.

I did watch the preview for Whitney though it was mostly out of guilt for not watching Up All Night’s preview.  But I have to say it made me laugh a couple times which is rare for sitcoms so more power to her.  I won’t watch it, but that doesn’t mean other, smarter people shouldn’t.

There are other shows listed under “More upcoming shows” on the list on the right when you’re watching these previews that I didn’t watch and won’t write about except to say they’re there and my fingers are tired from typing so damned much.  Maybe I’ll watch them tomorrow.

————————————–Fox (http://www.fox.com/programming/)

Fox has a calendar too! And its downloadable for nerds like me! Hurray!

I’ve been debating whether I’ll watch Jurassi…I mean Terra Nova or not.  I like a lot of the actors but the premise seems ridiculous, overreaching and too contrived.  Why the hell would we decide to go back to the time of dinosaurs? Did someone figure out what killed them so we don’t die? This would be why I’d watch it, just to figure out what they hell they were thinking.

The other two new shows (in Fall) are The New Girl and I Hate My Teenage Daughter.  I won’t watch either of them for multiple reasons, one being they’re sitcoms, two being the name of the second one and three being that I’m not a Zooey Deschanel fan.  So this one’s up to you to figure out.

I am, however, very excited for Alcatraz to start, but I have to wait until “midseason” whatever that means.  It has Hurley (Jorge Garcia) from Lost, Sam Neill from Jurassic Park, Parminder Nagra from ER.  How can they go wrong?

Also, while looking at the midseason starters, I found out about The Finder, which is a spin-off of Bones, which I don’t watch but which a lot of my friends and family love, which tells me its probably going to be good, which means it either will be but I’ll forget to watch it until its halfway through the season or I will watch it and it’ll suck.  We’ll see.

————————

I think that’s it for now.  Even if its not, I’m tired of typing.  Here’s a link to the tvguide fall schedule which is helpful since it has all of the channels in one place. Only problem is that all the links are to stories about the shows, not the previews, which would be much better.  http://www.tvguide.com/special/fall-preview/fall-schedule.aspx

Now go! Schedule those DVR’s! Cancel your plans for September!  Buy cat chow and scratching posts before they’re all gone!

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