Fall TV!!

You’ll figure this out pretty quickly when you start reading this, but let me just alert you to the fact that I KNOW I should get a life and this is way too much effort for something that is such a ridiculous waste of time.  But I like it and it makes me happy and me and my 12 cats that I will eventually have instead of a life will be very happy with our hobby.  So leave me alone and just read and sigh and thank God you have a life. If you don’t have a life then YAY! It’s you and me and the TV (and Bobby McGee?) 

I love fall TV season, the new shows, the hope of a new Lost or ER that will take up way too much of your brain power but will be something new and (hopefully) exciting that you can talk about with your friends…or people on Facebook. Whatever.

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the Fall TV season is watching all the new previews and figuring out what you’re going to watch and what you’re hoping will suck so that you didn’t miss the first few shows.  Life is a gamble – I prefer to bet with tv shows, its just how I roll.

So here’s what I know about this year’s fall season (so far):

TV channel websites SUCK ASS.

Oh yeah and there seem to be a few shows that may be really good coming out.  But depending on which channel’s website you visit they either don’t give a damn or want you to watch their freaking commercials to see anything about the new shows.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to invest that kind of effort.

————————————–ABC (http://abc.go.com/site/new-shows) has a TON of new shows coming out this fall.

The previews are TINY and if you full screen them they look like you’ve zoomed in on a craptastic pixellated mess.  Not so much a selling point as an annoyance.  Also, if you happen to have the show in the background so you can, I don’t know, blog about them perhaps – you have to listen to the previews/snippets over and over and over.  Also NOT a selling point when they play the same bits of dialogue over and over and over.  GRRRRR Oh, and to add to the annoyance, you have to scroll through the flip-book thingy to get back to the last show you were on.

As for the shows?

I skipped over Apartment 23 without reading more than the caption for the picture. A new “Odd Couple” with chicks? No thanks.

Same for Charlie’s Angels (but I didn’t even read the caption on that one, who doesn’t know the storyline?)

The Chew sounds disgusting.  Its actually a cross between the View (get it? the Chew, the View, how witty…or not), a daytime Food Network show and Martha Stewart? Nope, not for me.

Good Christian Belles looks, hmm.  Could be really good or really, really bad.  I’m hoping for good but assuming its going to be Desperate Housewives with mint juleps and accents.

I truly hope Last Man Standing is going to be good.  It looks good.  I love Tim Allen.  So here’s crossing our fingers it does well. Considering its the only comedy I’m even considering watching, it had better be good.

Man Up seems funny, but stupid funny, not smart funny.  I’m not a big fan of stupid funny.  But the preview made me laugh so that’s something, right? (still not watching it, but I hope others do)

Missing.  Well, they got the name right considering the preview is also missing.   According to the snippet of info they give, it has Ashley Judd in it (who I love) so maybe they’ll get their shit together, put up a preview and knock my socks off.  Here’s hoping.

Once Upon a Time looks stupid.  I’d love to say it doesn’t but it just does.  I just watched the longer preview (it was like the 5th video on the revolving playlist on the show’s site) and it actually doesn’t look too bad.  I have no freaking clue why they wouldn’t make THAT the 1st preview but whatever.  Even though its “from the writers of Lost” I think Grimm (see below) will do a better job with the whole fairy tales come to the present thing but I may watch this premiere just to see if it makes up for the dumb preview.

Pan Am looks boring, like maybe they were trying for some Mad Men watchers with nothing else to watch but I’m not interested.

Revenge (this is actually funny because I participated in a pilot review Neilson thing months ago, so it’ll be interesting what they do with this).  The show itself looked/looks good and from the pilot I saw, I would recommend it.  I may watch it but only if it doesn’t conflict too much with other stuff I’m more interested in.

The River looks good – Amazon river meets Lost meets Alien.  Hmmm  Plus Spielberg is producing so it has some definite promise!

Scandal also looks good – lots of faces I recognize which always makes me nervous.  If I loved who I remember them being, will that ruin or enhance the new show.  The preview is intriguing and this will definitely go on my list of shows to watch.

Suburgatory looks dumb but I’m not a fan of sitcoms anyway and I have enough teenage angst in real life.  Thanks. But no.

Work It is just a bad knock off of Bosom Buddies.  If you want to watch a good “guys dress up like women to get ahead in life” show watch that one – at least it was original.

———————————–CBS (http://www.cbs.com/primetime/fall_preview_2011/)

Holy crap they have a calendar! With premier dates! Its like they actually want you to WATCH their shows! Could it be? Oh, I have to watch commercials before the previews? Nope, guess you don’t want me to watch your shows.  Thanks for clearing that up.

2 Broke Girls looks funny and dumb (as its supposed to) but I’m not interested.  Sitcoms = still not my thing.

Hawaii 50 Ok, I know its not new. But its AWESOME and Alex O’Laughlin is amazingly hot.  I even think Scott Caan is hot and he’s short!

Unforgettable looks REALLY good. Its going on my list.  The characters look good, its not a cookie-cutter crime show but its not too out there for people who like crime shows.  Cool.

Person of Interest is also going on my list.  Jim Caviezel (I’m sure I botched that name but this is a shit-load of typing, I’m not researching spelling too) is a great actor who I’ve loved since G.I. Jane and then Frequency (loved both of those movies!) so I’m excited to see him in a show.  The fact that it has Ben Linus in it ( again, not researching what his real name is) is a bonus.

A Gifted Man will either be really good or really bad.  I’m hoping for really good because it has a good premise: ex-wife comes back to “haunt” (in a good way) the ex husband who still loves/loved her.  He does good because she did good and needs his help to finish what she started.   See? Gotcha already doesn’t it?

——————————————–NBC (http://www.nbc.com/upcoming-shows/)

NBC apparently wants you to have to think about where they hid the upcoming stuff before they’re actually going to share with you.  No reason to put it on the front page or in the search results, right guys? There’s nothing riding on people liking your new stuff or anything, right?  Well, at least once I found them I got to watch them in full screen with all the pixels the right size.

Free Agents has Hank Azaria (LOVE HIM) and that one chick, from…you know…something you’ve seen.  And I think she was funny in it.  Anyway, I think its going to be cheesy but hopefully not because I really do love Hank and he deserves his own hit.

Grimm seems like an interesting take on the fairy tales come to life premise.  It feels, from the preview, more like a crime drama with sci-fi twists that just happen to resemble fairy tales.  That seems like a more conservative approach to the idea (rather than Once Upon A Time where they went full-out fantasy) but could result in a longer lasting show.

I was all set to hate The Playboy Club but really it seems to have taken the cool feel of Mad Men, added some overt sex appeal and run with it.  I may even have to watch this against my better judgment.  Especially since Bobby (Eddie Cibrian) from Third Watch is in it.  Oh Third Watch, I miss that show.  Maybe I should find that on Hulu instead of watching this new show.

Maria Bello is on tv.  That’s really all you need to know to watch Prime Suspect right?  Its Maria Bello as a cop who, apparently, is ostracized from her squad for either sleeping with her boss or refusing to sleep with her boss.  I couldn’t tell from the preview but who the hell cares? Its Maria Bello and she rocks!

I didn’t even watch the preview for Up All Night.  Sorry Christina (Applegate) but I just don’t care who had a baby and who’s going to whine about it.

I did watch the preview for Whitney though it was mostly out of guilt for not watching Up All Night’s preview.  But I have to say it made me laugh a couple times which is rare for sitcoms so more power to her.  I won’t watch it, but that doesn’t mean other, smarter people shouldn’t.

There are other shows listed under “More upcoming shows” on the list on the right when you’re watching these previews that I didn’t watch and won’t write about except to say they’re there and my fingers are tired from typing so damned much.  Maybe I’ll watch them tomorrow.

————————————–Fox (http://www.fox.com/programming/)

Fox has a calendar too! And its downloadable for nerds like me! Hurray!

I’ve been debating whether I’ll watch Jurassi…I mean Terra Nova or not.  I like a lot of the actors but the premise seems ridiculous, overreaching and too contrived.  Why the hell would we decide to go back to the time of dinosaurs? Did someone figure out what killed them so we don’t die? This would be why I’d watch it, just to figure out what they hell they were thinking.

The other two new shows (in Fall) are The New Girl and I Hate My Teenage Daughter.  I won’t watch either of them for multiple reasons, one being they’re sitcoms, two being the name of the second one and three being that I’m not a Zooey Deschanel fan.  So this one’s up to you to figure out.

I am, however, very excited for Alcatraz to start, but I have to wait until “midseason” whatever that means.  It has Hurley (Jorge Garcia) from Lost, Sam Neill from Jurassic Park, Parminder Nagra from ER.  How can they go wrong?

Also, while looking at the midseason starters, I found out about The Finder, which is a spin-off of Bones, which I don’t watch but which a lot of my friends and family love, which tells me its probably going to be good, which means it either will be but I’ll forget to watch it until its halfway through the season or I will watch it and it’ll suck.  We’ll see.


I think that’s it for now.  Even if its not, I’m tired of typing.  Here’s a link to the tvguide fall schedule which is helpful since it has all of the channels in one place. Only problem is that all the links are to stories about the shows, not the previews, which would be much better.  http://www.tvguide.com/special/fall-preview/fall-schedule.aspx

Now go! Schedule those DVR’s! Cancel your plans for September!  Buy cat chow and scratching posts before they’re all gone!


I am SO changing my name!!

This is from my new favorite site Overheard in the Office

She’s What Happens When the Witness Relocation People Smoke Too Much Pot

PA: Buffy Capri, please call the operator, Buffy Capri.
Secretary #1: Who the hell is Buffy Capri?
Secretary #2: I don’t know. An exotic dancer or a porn star?
Secretary #1: Buffy Capri, you’re wanted on the lido deck.
Secretary #3: She’s a paralegal. With a dumb name.

Atlanta, Georgia

By the way, while speaking of favorite things, my new favorite dessert is my homemade creamsicle milkshake. It’s freaking AWESOME.

Oh, and another one cuz I just can’t stop and this sounds so much like my boss:

Now That I’ve Talked to You Verbally

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

Things they are a-changing

Ok, so check it out, I now have Twitter (look to your right and you should see the last few updates), I have a new layout (check out the awesomeness that is my Header – yes, I took that picture) AND I may, sometime this weekend actually have a non-leaking, fully functional bathroom.  If and when it ever gets done, I do promise to share photos.  :)

Happy Weekend all!

Google Reader

Okay, I admit, I have worked and tried and I have found the wonder that is Google Reader. However, it is just not as great as I wished it were. Half the fun of reading a blog, especially by someone you don’t know is seeing their blog – seeing their personality come out in the layout, the colors, the design, the extras, and the photos. Not only does Google Reader not have any of that, it isn’t even pretty in its own right.


Sorry Carrie, but I think I will only use Google reader only in those horrible moments when I can’t remember the address for your blog.

Oh, one thing the reader did do is it reacquainted me with some blogs I haven’t read in years and other blogs I’d never heard of. Here are some links for you to add to your reader (or whatever):

Carrie’s Blog My best friend and the sweetest, most artistic person I know (who actually DOES something with her talent no less!)

drunkenbee (I know she says she’s on a break, but she’s worth reading some archives so get to it!)


Miss Doxie


Oh, and I had to go looking for this, but I just had to share probably the most memorable and funny blog post EVER:

Here’s something funny. Master V and I were playing Trivial Pursuit
the other night. Now, I have to tell you that this is sort of a contentious
thing in our career together, as I am a huge fan of the game and he is…well,
to be honest, he hates to get his ass kicked. Thus, he normally refuses to play
with me. (Fact: I hate to lose more than he does. I’m not above cheating with
my teammates, either. Sue me.)

I am not saying that I am some idiot savant who can beat anybody
at Trivial Pursuit, I am just saying that Master V does not have nearly the
great repository of useless knowledge rolling around his head that I do. If
it were called “Musical Trivia and Obscure Sports Facts Pursuit,”
you can bet five thousand that he’d kill me every time.

Anyway, he decided (and it may have been the drink, maybe not)
that he’d play ONE game with me. I yippied and skippied and happily dragged
the game out from its hiding place underneath one of our sitting room chairs
(easily accessible!), and we commenced playing. I have to tell you, I love this
game. We played and giggled and made fun of each other’s stupid answers, but
there’s one that shall go down in Chao Camp history. It went a little something
like this:

Master V: Okay. You ready? Pay attention, because this
one’s really…easy as fuck. What kind of sighting became more common after
the movie Jaws was released?

AB: [thinking hard, taking helpful sip of drink] Um…oh!

Master V: What? A-what?

AB: Aluminum.

Master V: You want to rethink that? I don’t know what you’re
talking about.

AB: You know, aluminum! Aluminum siding. I don’t know why
that’s related to a movie about sharks…ohhhhh. Siding! Sighting! Goddamn
it! I want a do-over!

Master V: I don’t think so, Joel. [laughs hysterically]
Gaalrslkgjagbah! Paaaaah! Ha! Nice one, baby.

AB: Shutupihateyou. Shut! It! Hee. Aluminum siding. I should
win on retarded alone.

This is where we laugh ourselves silly for about 10 hours. Cut
to later, in the bed that night. “Baby, I want you to be careful this week
when you’re driving to work. I hear there have been several aluminum sightings
in the D/FW area.” “I will, don’t worry. My friend Jeff from work
accidentally got his leg bitten off in a nasty bungalow incident the other day.”

Aluminum sighting. If you think my journalling insecurities are
unfounded, know that shit like this is one of the reasons.

Please be careful out there. It’s still summer–prime season for
your house to eat you alive.

That’s from Hashai but she doesn’t write anymore – sigh – so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say she is my inspiration and I still aspire to be as funny as she is.

I also, probably WAY behind the times, found Dooce, which I love and think I may try to take more simple “here’s what I did today” photos. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do a “photo a day” but I can at least try for once a week or so. :)

Idol & Issues

So I have some random thoughts/things to share, don’t be surprised if you don’t understand :)

So Michael Johns got kicked out last night, can you believe that??? I (along with everyone else) was stunned. I loved him!! And why didn’t they save him like they did last year on the IGB week?? You know that’s why he got voted off was because everyone thought they weren’t going to send anyone home. grr

Did anyone else notice the little (about 7 or 8 ) year old girl on the performance show this week holding up a sign that said “LICK THOSE LIPS”? Okay, now I know what that means, David Archuleta licks his lips ALOT while singing – but I would NEVER (even if it wasn’t creepy because I’m literally old enough to be his mother) EVER hold up a sign telling someone to “lick those lips” and I especially wouldn’t let my daughter hold it up!!! eww

and speaking of little David…I think it’s only his fans that need slapping around, he’s a great singer and his version of Imagine” is one of the BEST American Idol performances I have ever seen: David Archuleta’s “Imagine”

and speaking of imagining…when I imagined being a parent, I didn’t really imagine it being this big of a problem. But Dammit, it’s HARD!!

For example: It’s spring break and Ally was home alone. For the last few weeks we’ve been having serious problems with Ally’s behavior, with her stealing my makeup numerous times one of them (she’s not supposed to wear makeup until she’s older). She’s been grounded, spanked, yelled at and to no avail. So, during spring break she was grounded from tv (not just for the makeup, but that was part of it). I was at work and I called and said that I’d be home for lunch and we were both excited to spend time together.

I walk in the front door and there’s my beautiful daughter WEARING MAKEUP!! Like she didn’t know I was coming?? WTF!?!

So I say to my beautiful daughter “You’re wearing my makeup!!” and she responds “No I’m NOT – I wiped it all off!”

See? Parenting is hard….I didn’t kill her so I think I won that round.

Movie Trailers

Okay, I’m a movie fan, not a fanatic – and I am NOT one of those “OMG! There’s a new comic book movie coming out!” types of people.

But I saw the IronMan trailer today (go here to see it) and I’m actually pretty excited about it. 

What other movies am I excited to see? Well, here’s the short list (click the names to see the trailers):

Smart People

Indiana Jones (duh)

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden (Bush couldn’t find him, but the Super Size Me guy probably can!)

Get Smart I actually loved that show, Nick at Night ROCKS!

Superhero Movie

The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan (or Shamalamanimna – if you’re Ally trying to say his name)

Defiance it has James Bond and Liev Schreiber in it – who can go wrong with that?

Meet the Spartans – they kick Britney Spears down a well.  Just for that it’s worth my $8.00

Cassandra’s Dream – it’s written and directed by Woody Allen, who I totally dislike, but it has Colin Farrell and Ewan Macgregor in it so that makes up for it

Leatherheads -George Clooney and the sweet guy from the Office in a football movie!

The Air I Breathe – this is one of those movies that makes the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon SO much easier!

Nim’s Island

The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian

Vantage Point – it’s got Dr. Jack from Lost without the Island – woohoo! oh yeah and some other people too. :)

and, finally Taken with Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen.

I know – “short list” – but, well, this is me we’re talking about! :)