Oh Avenue..why?

So, because I said I would, here is the e-mail I just sent to Avenue clothing store.

Dear Avenue: How in the world as a new customer am I supposed to know that the items you are selling are for plus-sized women when NONE of your models are actually plus-sized? And I don’t mean “model” plus-sized (which is what, a 10??) but real-world fat chicks. I wear a size 24. None of your models look ANYTHING like me. Why is that? You’re selling to people like ME – so hire models that look like ME, not the skinny chick next door. I cannot, in good conscience, buy from a store that obviously doesn’t LIKE how I look or think that someone my size would look good in your clothes. And I know that this is probably not something your store cares about (obviously, or you would have already fixed this) but I’ll be posting this e-mail on my facebook, blog, Pinterest and anything else I can think of to convince others to say the same things and shop elsewhere.

I am saddened by the fact that they expect us to spend our money there, but they don’t think people who wear their clothes are pretty enough to model them.  What an insult!!

Please, if you feel the same way, write them too.  Maybe they’ll wake up and change how they market their clothes if we all start saying something.


Oh, and I’d like to point out two other things about this:
1. This is not some store/site that sells to both “regular” and “plus-sized” women. They ONLY do size 14 & up. So its not like they need to worry about a skinny person not buying their clothes because they have fat people on their site. and
2. Even though I knew they did plus sizes, I was not aware they were solely plus size and kept looking for the tab for plus sizes, assuming that because they were smaller models, I must not be in the plus size “department” – so how is that even good advertising?

Library madness

I went to the library last night and was very disappointed in my experience.  I love going to the library and enjoy almost every visit there.  Yesterday, however, was a bummer.

First, it was HOT in there! Not “we’re saving money so our a/c is on low”  hot, but “the a/c is broken and we don’t care” kind of hot. It was 85° outside and probably the same inside, without the benefit of a breeze or fresh air.  I had to visit the Information desk and when I asked the librarian how long it had been hot in there she answered non-sarcastically “Since it started warming up outside.”  Really? Thanks for the non-info Information lady!

Second, while standing in line for the Information desk, I watched as one librarian helped a patron and another librarian sat at her computer clicking and typing away.  I assumed that both librarians were busy and if not, computer-using librarian would call me over to her side of the desk.  As I waited, and sweated, and waited, computer-using librarian never looked up, never said anything to me (even though I made sure I was in her line of sight) or to her co-worker.  After about 5 minutes, a kid walked up to computer-using librarian and started asking questions.  I figured if he could interrupt her, so could I and went to her side of the desk when he left.  I told her that I hadn’t wanted to interrupt whatever she was doing but since she had immediately stopped “working” on her computer, she must not have been as busy as I thought.  She looked at me and said “well that’s why I’m here” in a snotty tone like I was the one who had just ignored a patron for 5 minutes.  Jerk.

Maybe the heat was getting to us all.

Things I should have learned when I turned 21

Okay, seriously embarrassed myself last night and I want to share – aren’t I weird?

First, a side note: I do NOT buy alcohol.


Not that I wouldn’t, obviously, but I just have never had a need to go to the liquor store.  I’m 33 and I’ve been there once.

So, when I needed to buy alcohol as a gift, I took Ally into the store with me.  She asked if she should and I said sure, if you’re not supposed to be in there they’ll tell us.  There was no sign on the door about “No Minors”.  No one said anything when she walked in with me.  No one asked if she’s 21.  And I know she’s tall, but she sure as hell doesn’t look 21!!

We wander the store, we discuss different wine labels, laugh at the different types of rum, I asked the clerk a question…it was normal.  Still, no one said anything about her being there.

So I pick out the two things I’m there for, carry them up to the register and get into line.  While standing there I mention, hey those little bottles would be a cool way to try the expensive stuff.  So we look at the mini bottles of alcohol while standing in line.  I grab two and Ally grabs a bottle of Grey Goose and says “hey mom, I’ve heard of this, do you want to try it?”  I say sure, she hands it to me.  I know the clerk has been watching us and I assume its to make sure we’re not stealing anything so I don’t really care or notice.

Once its our turn to check out she asks for my ID, I hand it to her and then she asks for Ally’s.  Confused, I say  “she doesn’t have one.”  The woman gives me a look and says “and who is she?”

Me: “My daughter.”

Clerk: “Well she was handling the alcohol and if she doesn’t have an ID then I can’t sell to either of you.”

Me: “But she’s not going to drink the alcohol?!”

Clerk: “It doesn’t matter.  Our policy is that if she is old enough, she needs to stay in the car and if she comes in, she can’t touch the alcohol.”

Me: “Oh, okay, well if I send her out to the car and put that bottle back?”

Clerk: “No, I cannot sell to you.”

I wasn’t going to argue with her, I knew it wasn’t going to do me any good, and we were both mortified so we just left.

Now, after thinking about it, I’m PISSED.

There were no signs about minors.  Not one of the THREE clerks (one of whom asked if we needed help) said anything about an obvious minor in the store.  There was nothing to tell us we were doing anything wrong.  Considering the number of “policies” the woman listed off, you’d think TELL THE CUSTOMER would be one of them, but apparently not.

Why I hate Fridays

No one ever thinks I’m serious when I say that I hate Fridays but its true.

If something is going to go wrong it’ll happen on a Friday.

If people are going to be pissy, snotty, in a hurry, missing a sense of humor, or rude I’ll have to talk to them on a Friday.

Every task that I wasn’t able to do all week (or put off all week) will HAVE to be done on Friday.

Every task that I need to do next week will now need to be done on Friday.

Fridays are days when people don’t want to work and are pissed at me when I make them.

Fridays are days when people call the office with an EMERGENCY and don’t understand why I can’t fix it before the weekend. Nevermind that they’ve known about this emergency since Tuesday.

You still don’t believe me? Well, let me give you an example of a Friday. This is all true, exactly how it happened and if you don’t believe me, ask the people I work with.

Woke up late (nothing new here) I usually don’t worry about what time I get to work as long as I beat my boss. Not that she says anything, its just a goal. Anyway, ran to get my only clean pair of jeans out of the dryer and realize my cat has peed IN THE DRYER. She only ended up peeing on two things, but of course one of them is my jeans. So much for clean jeans.

Pull into the parking lot at work right behind my boss. End up walking into the office with her. Lovely. Well…at least I don’t smell like cat pee.

As I’m getting my cup of coffee I get a call from an opposing counsel’s secretary. I spend the next 10 minutes getting my head ripped off by a snotty, pushy woman who insists that I am a moron. Now I’m too pissed off to even drink the damned coffee.

Spend the rest of the morning scrambling to get an ex parte order written and arguing with my boss about the best strategy on the case. I won that argument, but that means more work for me. Its Friday, so I have 3 other projects that HAVE to get done today but now I have to do all this first.

Have to unplug my printer 3 times and restart WordPerfect twice to get documents to print because my computer has decided NOT to communicate with the printer unless I jump through hoops. Because its Friday and it doesn’t want to be there any more than I do.

Meanwhile my boss has taken up residence across from me at my desk. She has moved my things out of her way and brought her work in there instead of going into her office with her desk. Apparently she wants company.

I didn’t get a real lunch hour (too much to do) but that’s okay, I’ll just run to the Sunmart, get a pop and a red bull (remember, I didn’t drink my coffee so now my ass is dragging). Get the pop and the red bull, go to the car and open the red bull which was dumb because the pop doesn’t fit in the cupholder very well and I should really hold the pop on the drive. Oh well, I’ll just be careful. Pull out of the parking lot – no problem. Drive the mile back to the office – no problem. Pull into our parking lot – no problem. Turn the corner in the parking lot to park the car – pop flies across the car. In my reaction to grab the pop before it spills, I take my hand off the steering wheel mid-turn which means I’m now heading directly for a tree. Slam on the breaks to keep from hitting said tree and the momentum causes my purse to go flying off the passenger seat and into the 32 ounce puddle on the floor. Upside down.

Good news? I didn’t hit the tree.

Throughout the day, every time my cell phone rang or I got a personal call or text, you can bet the boss was RIGHT THERE. Not that she cares a lot when we take care of stuff like that, but she does frown on it when its in her face and when we’re busy. Both of which were true today. Because its Friday, of course.

One of our newer clients comes in, I’ve only met him once and I have no idea if he even has a sense of humor. He is accused of domestic violence assault. He tells me that the last time he was in the office he saw the “victim’s” mother in the parking lot. I explain that the next time something like that happens, he should have one of us walk outside with him so we can protect him from an accusation of inappropriate behavior.  I say “you need a witness, its not like I’m going to beat her up or something…”  Ha. Yes, very funny dumbass.

Fast forward a couple hours, my foot has been surgically removed from my throat. The boss needs to leave. She has made that very clear. I tell her I can do this one thing before she leaves and then we won’t have to scramble on Monday morning. She says she’ll wait if its only going to take a minute. Then she says she also needs three other things done on that file before Monday.

I say “Well obviously that’s going to be more than a minute, so why don’t you go ahead and go? We’ll just have to scramble on Monday.”

I move on to other projects, planning on getting back to the boss’ list of things to do after finishing a few things.  Five minutes later the boss comes in my office and snippily says “I HAVE to leave now.” I say, confused, “Are you waiting for me?” She says “Yes! You said you wanted me to wait for you!” We then figure out that she wasn’t listening to me at all when I told her she should go.  She’d been sitting in her office doing whatever and waiting for me to bring her things to sign.  When we get that cleared up she’s still pissed off at me and marches out.  Good Lord.

The rest of the day is basically more of the same. Nothing major happens, just lots of scrambling to get things done before the end of the day. Don’t actually leave the office until 6:00.

So yeah, that’s a “normal” Friday for me. Do you get it now?

Still here a year later

Today seems like as good a day as any to write a post…I miss blogging some days but most of the time its so hard to find the time to write as much as I want (and sound coherent) and then I feel guilty for not writing more.  Every time I dig out the blog and post something I promise I’m going to be better this time and post more.  Seriously, I don’t know why I do that – we all know I’m a big fat liar.   So, I’ll post when I feel like it and when I can.  That’s what Google Reader is for – it’ll tell you when I’ve gotten off my ass to write.


Ally turns 14 tomorrow.  I just cannot believe that.

We (meaning I) had two parties this year for her; one for family (sis/hubby & 6 of their 8, mom/dad, g’pa) and then today we had the friends party.  The family party was at our house which is WAY too small for all those people, but I can’t afford anything else, so whatever.  At least we like each other! A while ago I saw a rainbow cake and decided I really wanted to make it, then I saw the rainbow cupcakes and REALLY wanted to make those.  When I showed Ally she was not as thrilled (I think her exact response was “eh”) but when I said it didn’t have to be a rainbow she got into it.

First we were going to do shades of yellow, then it was going to be shades of green, then hot pink and bright green with yellow icing.  In the end, this is how it turned out:

Ally loved it – the pink was insanely PINK and stained everything it touched.  It was fun to make though and I got to use the stand mixer my great uncle gave me for the first time.  I’m telling you, that thing makes me feel like how boys must feel when then get to use a power saw- its just COOL.

Carrie came over the morning of the 2nd party and puff painted names on t-shirts for each of the kids.  She offered to help but ended up doing it all just because she is SO good at it!  I could have never done them as good as she did.  Here’s what they all looked like at the end:

All I can say is CARRIE ROCKS

We invited 15 kids (b/c last year only 2 of the 8 we invited showed).  This year, all the boys showed up except one, but only one of the girls did.  Why is that do you think?  Why would the boys be more reliable than the girls?  One of the girls, a really good friend, actually confirmed multiple times but never showed.  I find that completely weird but hey, what do I know.

Ally wasn’t too upset about the whole thing (possibly because she was surrounded by boys for 2 hours).

Chad and I got through both parties without bickering at each other or sniping so it was a win.  Jesi and her ‘friend’ came.  The friend seems nice, but she annoys me.  I can’t decide if its because she’s really been a jerk to Ally lately or if its the fact that I can’t tell her what to do and I want to FIX her life.  It makes me crazy, but that’s for another post I think.  Its hard having an adult (ex)step-daughter because what little input I had in her life when she was younger is now gone, but I still WANT to tell her everything. That may also be because I have some control issues, but whatever.

The cake for this party was equally cool, but I didn’t make it

Can you tell we like BRIGHT colors this year?

And again, the icing was so colorful it stained everything…

We had fun, I didn’t break the bank completely and I kept my cool through two parties and cleaning the house so I’m happy. Almost as happy as Ally was right at this moment:

Ally just walked in while I was writing this post and said  “this was the best birthday ever” — I guess that says it all.

Myspace, your space and photos

My kid got a Myspace – I’m not thrilled about it but couldn’t keep her from it forever (especially after she’s been grounded from ALL computers for the last 5 months).  Be that as it may, she decided to take pics of herself to share with the world.  Don’t worry, they aren’t bad…and they aren’t bad! :)  Take a look at my cutie kid and guess which one is my favorite. ally11





Isn’t she cute??  lol  Oh, and just so you know where she gets it – here’s a pic of Jesi, her gorgeous big sister (whom she of course idolizes).


Embarassing statements and white trash neighborhoods

I nearly came on here during the whole bathroom debacle and wrote “Man, I worked in the bathroom all night long and my ass is killing me!” Yeah, it would have been really funny when people started laughing at me and asking if I needed more fiber in my diet and I didn’t get it.

While taking a walk through my neighborhood today I noticed a few things.

Why is it that just taking a walk is fine, but the minute you put on headphones and bend your elbows (ala speed walkers) you are immediately not just out for a leisurely stroll, you are officially EXERCISING and people know it. It’s so much pressure!! So now, when I’m on my walks I have this horrible dilemma – do I bend the arms and announce that I’m exercising? What if people wonder why I’m not going faster, or wearing workout clothes? What if people see me and think “oh, honey, you are beyond help, you might as well just go eat bon bons and wait for death”?? Yes, these are the things I think and yes, I do believe that everyone that sees me actually has some thought about me – because I know I’m thinking about them!

I also noticed on my walk just how charming white trash can be.

First I noticed the 4 year old outside in 65 degree weather with her swimming suit on, no shoes, hose running/spraying “washing” her bike. Now I’m all for cleanliness and even for a little fun with the hose when you’re 4 but a swimming suit?? Really? In April?? Come on! And of course, it wouldn’t complete the scene unless the house she belonged to didn’t still have their Christmas lights still up!

And then, across the street and down one house from the poor unsupervised child was a woman walking to her car wearing a winter coat and ear muffs. Seriously – is the weather really that different from one side of the street to the other?? It reminded me of one of those collage scenes you see on posters with little vignettes for every season. I was just waiting for a snowman to show up in a yard around the corner.

Anyway, those are the things I noticed today.

Other news tidbits: American Idol got it right this year, the final three is nearly exactly as I said it should be all along, except it should be Carly, not Syesha as the last girl. I love both the Davids and can’t wait to see which will win. I love Cook, but Archuleta has all those teenie boppers voting for him and what else do they have to do all day but vote?? Come on, we old fogies are going to have to dial our poor fingers off! Cam you imagine American Idol before redial or before push-button phones? Hah! Each person would get 420 votes and they’d be thrilled!

Carrie told me all about Google Reader today and I’m trying to figure it out, but I can’t understand how it’s any better than an RSS reader I can put on my desktop. I’m going to keep futzing with it because Carrie is usually right about cool stuff (if you ignore the unhealthy obsessions with paper) but I’m not optimistic.

I am still on the search of AR books for Ally – this is the most cruel invention on earth. Give a kid a “reading level” that they are supposed to only read from (for Ally it’s 5.2 – 7.0 which means she can read books that are considered 5th grade through 7th grade appropriate) and then DON’T HAVE BOOKS SHE WANTS TO READ IN THOSE LEVELS!! Argh You don’t even want to know how many countless hours I have spent trying to find adventure/ghost/scary/cool/funny books that are #1-appropriate (ie not too scary), #2-interesting to her and #3 categorized as an AR book so that she can get credit for it!

What’s really frustrating about the whole process is that she is so demoralized about the whole process, she is less and less interested in reading the more I have to tell her “you can read that, but you’ll have to read something else you’re NOT interested in if you want credit in class”. Sad part is, she’s not going to get to go to Silverwood with her friends because she’s 15 credits (or approx 3 books) away from the goal and she can’t find a damned book worth reading ( in her opinion) so she won’t apply herself. Eww, I can’t believe I just said that! If I start talking about her potential, someone had better just put me out of my misery.

So that’s been my last few days – hopefully this week will finish better than it started out.