The beginning of the ants

Ok, here’s the reason I started this thing, are you ready?
Cuz I was reading all of these other blogs and saying to myself, geez, I’m as funny/interesting/verbose as they are, why can’t I have one of those?

See how easy that was? No major events, no startling revelations (yes, thank God, I stayed clothed, which is why it wasn’t startling, get it? sheesh)

So, here’s my life for today in a nutshell (don’t ask what kind of nut, you don’t wanna know)

I have ants in my house. No, not in the kitchen, not even in the dining room. In the laundry room and my bathroom!! How many people do you know that EAT in their laundry room or bathroom? Well, I am not one of them, so why the hell do I have ants in there?

Have you ever tried to potty while holding up your pant legs up so you can see the floor to make sure there aren’t any ants around your feet, while on your tippy toes so there’s less foot on the floor? No? Try it, its oh so much fun. And then, just for kicks, try wiping. Spray you say? Ant traps you say? HAH They liked that stuff so much they GREW WINGS to fly over the spray. No, I’m not lying, ask my landlord, they’ve been getting an ear full.

And for all those weirdos out there who feel sorry for the ants, all I can say is if you like them so much, YOU have them on YOUR toilet and then we’ll talk.

Advertisements